My friends.... we have invented something amazing. Picture Metallica's crunchy riffs - yes, even if you're a Metallica hater, you know there is that one song you still like - and now picture them slowed down and pitch reduced by 25%.
Yes... enter SLOWTALLICA.
I was at a buddy's house, playing some video games and having some beers. We through Metallica's Master of Puppets 45rpm LP on his record player, without realizing the turntable was set to 33rpm. Dismay and annoyance at our so-called "error" immediately turned to PURE JOY as we realized just what we had discovered*.
*Technically, Slowtallica has already been discovered. But we'd still like credit for an independent discovery.
I can barely express how awesome Slowtallica is without extremely profane and emphatic language, but I will do my best to keep this clean.
Slowtallica takes Metallica's thrash hits and turns them into crunchy, deliberate pieces of low, heavy metal. In some respects, Slowtallica sounds like the slower, incredibly low and crunchy viking metal songs of Amon Amarth. And like Amon Amarth, James Hetfield's voice is transformed from his normal pseudo-raspy mid-range "Yeaaahhhh!"s and "OHhhhhhh!"s to awesome, demonic, hellspawn vocals - the way heavy metal was meant to be delivered.
Don't believe me? I took the liberty of including a few samples in the 1-minute-30-second video below:
I kept the sound clips to 30 seconds to minimize the odds of the video getting flagged for copyrighted content. We start off with a Metallica song that everyone should know: Master of Puppets. We then slow it down 25% and therefore make it 25% better. We move on to a sampling of Leper Messiah, which sounds absolutely, insanely deadly with your speakers or headphones maximized, and finish it off with an instrumental sampling from Orion.
Wow, just wow, right?
If you want a Slowtallica album all for yourself, I can't give it to you! But, if you have some legally-acquired mp3s (or any mp3s, really), you can download Audacity then follow this tutorial to create some Slowtallica of your very own. Tip: -25.9% is the perfect slowing factor.