Thursday, November 22, 2012

The Coffee Trap

My sweet lady wife moved into my (our!) apartment right after our wedding. So far Robyn and I are pretty good roommates! We share the chores and are good at living together in a tiny space.

Since we pledged our eternal love for one another, Robyn has been setting traps. All over the place. Traps that didn't seem to spring up when my ex-roommate lived here. Items tumble out of cupboards, or fall off our tiny bathroom shelf into the toilet. Mmm, toilet aspirin.

She denies setting these traps but the evidence keeps piling up!

On Monday she set a trap that will be hard to top. Robyn covertly decided that our electric kettle needed cleaning because it supposedly had too much calcium in it.

Cloaked in silence, she filled the kettle (I can only assume, to the brim) with vinegar, boiled it down (I assume) to a thick vinegar syrup, and planted it in front of the sink for me to find during my morning routine.

The next morning my alarm went off at 5:00AM and I set about my automatic morning routine. Bathroom, shower, get dressed, grind coffee, fill kettle, boil kettle, pack lunch, put coffee & water in french press, eat breakfast, brush teeth, press coffee, pour in travel mug, add milk, depart for carpool.

In the carpool I sipped my coffee and was shocked wide awake. But not due to caffeine. Oh no. I thought my brain might be melting in those early morning hours, so I took another, smaller cautionary sip. I could ONLY taste acetic acid. This was alarming because I brew strong coffee. I thought the milk went bad. Very, very bad. But that didn't compute, because I had a glass of milk with breakfast.

When I got to work I poured my coffee down the sink. The bottom third of my travel mug was filled with a spongy disconnected mass of stinky curdled milk globs. It was super gross. Some people who saw (and smelled) what I was doing mug helpfully commented, "that's gross."

I texted Robyn and asked if she filled the kettle with vinegar, and if not, to watch out for the milk. She texted me her confession and apologized profusely, but I can only imagine that she was clasping her hands together, laughing maniacally and laying her next trap.

I have insider intelligence that she will be blogging her side of the story. I'll leave it to my discerning readers to evaluate the facts for themselves.


  1. Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually realize what you're speaking approximately! Bookmarked. Please additionally consult with my web site =). We will have a link alternate contract between us! wedding photographers melbourne

  2. Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is fundamental and all. But think about if you added some great visuals or video clips to give your posts more, "pop"! Your content is excellent but with images and clips, this site could definitely be one of the greatest in its field. Excellent blog! best direct paying faucets

  3. Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely return.leatherwood honey singapore

  4. Cleaning company in Dammam

    Why our company is interested in cleaning boards in Dammam
    Al-Nasser Company is interested in providing the best cleaning services in Dammam because it is the most used in the house and it is always dirty either from the large number of sitting on it or through the dust that enters from the windowsشركة النجوم لخدمات التنظيف
    شركة تنظيف فلل بجدة
    شركة تنظيف بيوت بجدة
    شركة تنظيف شقق بجدة